Book Review - Stories I Must Tell by Kabir Bedi

Stars don't live on the earth, they are a part of our universe but they have a world of their own that's why you can't connect with them as long as they are stars until they come back on earth and live a life like you and me.. sometimes this stardom never fades and they vanish in the sky itself without mixing with the common folks on the earth. There are a very few who while being stars project themselves as a commoner and in real life also live like so, so perhaps they daily commute in a local train to go to become stars and return home to a "normal" life.

Last week, I picked up "Stories I Must Tell" that was out of syllabus, as I had no plans to read that and had announced a number of books that I intended to read for the next two months. However, before I finished my previous read I listened to Kabir Bedi talking about his biography on a chat show "dreamers and unicorns" with Abhijit Bhaduri, who has recently written an engaging business book with the same name and since been conducting chat shows and podcasts under the title. The compelling narration of Kabir forced me to read the book.. here and now, that's why when I picked this "out of syllabus" book. Although a slow reader, I finished it in the next 5 days, unusual for me.

When Kabir says he was born in a middle class family, I was surprised.. his father Baba Bedi a philosopher and an iconoclastic Sikh (by his own admission he was 16th generation of Guru Nanak dev ji's family) studied in Oxford in the early last century, fell in love with a fellow student,  an English girl Freda, got influenced with Tagore and Gandhi when they visited the campus came back and joined the freedom struggle in their own way through satyagraha. Having born to such parents and studying in a nursery/primary school with Rajiv and Sanjay Gandhi and often seeing Jawaharlal and Indira in early childhood, you can't be falling in the category Middle Class of India.. that is reserved for people like me.

The book starts with his life changing experience of interviewing iconic Beatles during an unscheduled stop over in Delhi in 1968. The book covers his ambitious journey into the Dreamworld and the glamour of theatre and celluloid. Dashing, well educated, a Stephenian, fluent in languages, daring Kabir made it to the Bombay film world (that was not called Bollywood those days) with some successes. And as it happens with people who get under such brightness when headlights are turned on you, you raise yourself on the platform when you see only bright things and not notice (दिया तले अंधेरा). You are blinded with the glamour. So as 22-23 year old when he met another intelligent, ambitious and flirtatious girl Protima Bedi he was drawn to the Dreamworld that was common for stars.. live-in relationships in those days were not as common amongst middle class people that ended in a forced marriage as living in such relationships with a child was still not common even in the glamour society of Bombay (as it was called then). When you join such 'high flying" world you also tend to conform to their norms.. so multiple relationships were common .. you get into it, your partner gets into it.. I wonder is there a "home" you come to when all this goes on?

Anyway, so breakup and another relationship with a schizophrenic Parveen Bobby (she was obviously an equally attractive, if not more and more famous and successful as an actor), and another break up, another marriage, break up, marriage.. it's endless.. you always try to find happiness that keeps eluding you.. it's like a mirage you are chasing. You are in your Dreamworld and deny the existence of the real world around you. For a common man like me and I suppose with most of us, when you had a bad night at home your work in office or whatever you are engaged with, suffers and at the same time you are at your best when you had a happy night home the previous night. So although you are an actor and can put a layer on your emotions, you would still not be giving your best during the emotional drain when you have had fights or upset with breakups. Four marriages and many relationships he finally thinks that he has found his "true love" when he was 70 in a girl 28 years younger, nothing wrong provided he doesn't get disillusioned yet again ( historically, it's a tough call). I would like to wish him best and may his marriage five years back lasts a life time and he finds happiness of Lifetime in his newest relationship.  Just remember, relationships are not castle of Legos that you build and demolish and remake in different colours, shape and size.

Although he has been a star in Bombay, Italy and Hollywood, I think and he also says so, he is a real star in Italy as Sandokan that has seen unprecedented success. One would always see oneself as equally successful in other roles but statistics say it otherwise.

The mess you create around you with relationships leave a bitter taste and make those memories haunting for all the actors in the real life drama.. you, your partners and mostly children. Kabir talks about how his son from the first marriage gets into depression and commits suicide. Such a tragic end to a promising life largely due to the broken family. (dedicating tis book to him is hardly any consolation). That is the price you pay for your so called "success". This is nothing new, that has always happened in society from time immemorial at all levels not just in "high flying" societies. Just about a century ago even in our society it was common to have multiple wives in all the religions. I think a lack of true respect and honesty for each other in the couples is what takes such tolls.

The books also elaborately talks about his parents and their careers. His father also moved places and lived with multiple women, in the whole story I think his mother is one person who remained strong and focused, a caring person who ended up as a Buddhist monk and remained so until her death.

Besides the quality of being ambitious and  hardworking I wonder if one can draw much inspiration from his life except that I greatly appreciate his honesty with which he has admitted all his faults, guilts and failures. It's not an easy thing. But having admitted what he has, I am sure he will be at peace with himself and will also spread peace in every relationship that he has had.

May god bless our "Sandokan". In the end he is becoming a real life hero.